Apparently, as she informed me, there is a perceived “mothering battleground” where moms pit themselves against each other over topics like feeding babies, choosing schools, eating healthy, disciplining children, and more.

Are You Mom Enough?

Time Magazine recently joined the fray with the provocative cover of a beautiful young mother visibly breastfeeding her four-year old son next to the title, “Are You Mom Enough?”

The message screamed at moms from this issue of Time, from television, Facebook, blogs, and Pinterest is: unless you are fit to run marathons, breastfeed into the preschool years, own a spotless and creatively decorated home, tend a flourishing garden, prepare three home-cooked meals per day, work a high-powered job, and give your husband expert, sensual massages before bed, you are not mom enough.

From my perspective, however, the Mommy War is over. Done. Finished. Kaput.

And I lost.

I am not mom enough. Never was, never will be.

But I am on the frontlines of another war. The battles are raging and the casualties could be my children, my husband, or myself. This war isn’t about me being mom enough. This war is about God being “God enough.”

Is God “God Enough”?

Is God “God enough” when my daughter falls from the roof and the nearest hospital is a two-hour drive and a four-hour flight away?

Is God “God enough” when a beloved friend and devoted mother is diagnosed with cancer?

Is God “God enough” when loneliness and culture shock creep in like a snake and squeeze my heart?

Is God “God enough” to take my best, stained efforts at childrearing and craft something that brings him pleasure?

Is God “God enough” to turn little hearts to him, and to hold them there?

Five loaves and two fish feed thousands. A shepherd boy takes out a giant. A king who commits adultery and murder is called “a man after God’s own heart.” A pagan prostitute bears the bloodlines of Jesus. A man dead and buried for days inhales fresh life. An outcast, stained with a continual flow of blood, is healed with the touch of a tunic. The wind and waves are stilled. The sting of death is vanquished, the curse removed forever.

God is, always has been, and always will be, God enough. The battle is over whether or not I will believe it, whether or not I will delight in God’s enough-ness.

Mom Enough

And somehow, in God’s mathematics of grace: Mom (never enough) + God (infinitely enough) = Mom enough.

Mom enough to believe and to be called Chosen, Daughter, Righteous, Honored, Heir, Forgiven, Redeemed.

Trusting in God, because of Christ, I will rise from the graveyard of Mommy War victims, victorious and filled with resurrection power. Loving and living in his perfect enough-ness, I will live to parent for another day. Never mom enough, but filled with the One who is always enough.

In his book This Momentary Marriage, Pastor John gives four reasons why marriage is God’s doing:

First, marriage was God’s design.

While Genesis 1:27–28 makes clear that marriage is meant for male and female, the logic of Genesis 2 also confirms it.

In [Genesis 2:18], it is God himself who decrees that man’s solitude is not good, and it is God himself who sets out to complete one of the central designs of creation, namely, man and woman in marriage. “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Don’t miss that central and all-important statement: God himself will make a being perfectly suited for him — a wife. (21)

Second, God gave away the first bride.

God took the role as the first Father to give away the bride. “Genesis 2:22: ‘And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.’ He didn’t hide her and make Adam seek. He made her; then he brought her.” (22)

Third, God spoke the design of marriage into existence.

We can see this if we look carefully at Matthew 19:4–5: “[Jesus] answered, ‘Have you not read that he [God] who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said [Note: God said!], “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”‘?” Jesus said that the words of Genesis 2:24 are God’s words, even though they were written by Moses. (22)

Fourth, God performs the one-flesh union.

The one-flesh union between a man and woman is the heart of what marriage is.

Genesis 2:24 is God’s word of institution for marriage. But just as it was God who took the woman from the flesh of man (Genesis 2:21), it is God who in each marriage ordains and performs a uniting called one flesh. Man does not create this. God does. And it is not in man’s power to destroy. This is implicit here in Genesis 2:24, but Jesus makes it explicit in Mark 10:8–9. He quotes Genesis 2:24, then adds a comment that explodes like thunder with the glory of marriage. “‘The two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

When a couple speaks their vows, it is not a man or a woman or a pastor or parent who is the main actor — the main doer. God is. God joins a husband and a wife into a one-flesh union. God does that. The world does not know this. Which is one of the reasons why marriage is treated so casually. And Christians often act like they don’t know it, which is one of the reasons marriage in the church is not seen as the wonder it is. Marriage is God’s doing because it is a one-flesh union that God himself performs. (23)

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in
Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus
hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
— Rom. 8:1-2

But God has much more for us …
… and He wants us to grow in our relationship with Him …
… into the fullness of what He has prepared for us!
!!!
How will we get to that place?

Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth ….
… and he will shew you things to come.
— John 16:13

The Holy Spirit has come to guide us into all truth …
… to lead us into the fullness of God’s promises …
… to lead us into God’s plan and purpose for our lives …
… to show us what God has planned for our lives …
… to show us things that are to come!
… and …
… to take us from just being children of God …
… to becoming sons of God

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
— Rom. 8:14

Why a son and not just a child?
A son grows, a son takes on responsibility, a son is ready to be led!
… and …
God wants each and every one of His children to grow up…
… and become sons!
How?
By listening to and being led by … the Holy Spirit

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.
— Rom. 8:14

Yes, God wants us as His sons and daughters …
… and He has given us the Holy Spirit …
… to teach us, to guide us and to show us things to come …
… but …
Are you listening to what He is saying?
Are you allowing Him to lead you?

… Read …
John 16:7-15
Eph. 1:18-20

The poor and weak have a powerful Friend! If you mess with them, He will mess with you! It is a rule of godliness and wisdom to treat the oppressed and vulnerable with great care. The Bible often mentions orphans and widows as those deserving special treatment, but the rule applies to any afflicted, helpless, poor, or needy person (23:10-11; 31:8-9).

With pronouns in this proverb, we must find the antecedents in the context. Solomon had just written, “Rob not the poor, because he is poor: neither oppress the afflicted in the gate” (22:22). The Lord will plead “their” cause, meaning the cause of the poor and afflicted. The Lord will spoil those that spoiled “them,” meaning the poor and afflicted. If you bother or harm a poor or afflicted person, the Lord will defend them by hurting you!

The rule is simple – do not take financial advantage of a poor person, since his poverty makes him more vulnerable; do not press claims or rights against afflicted or troubled persons. Using the example of orphans and widows, consider God’s repeated warnings (Ex 22:22-24; Deut 24:17; 27:19; Mal 3:5; Jas 1:27). Using the example of the poor, consider God’s repeated warnings (14:31; 17:5; Ex 22:25; 23:6; Deut 15:7-11; 24:12-15).

How severe is God’s revenge against those harming the weak and needy? “Ye shall not afflict any widow, or fatherless child. If thou afflict them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will surely hear their cry; And my wrath shall wax hot, and I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be widows, and your children fatherless” (Ex 22:22-24). This is serious business! Helping the helpless is wise! Hurting the helpless is suicide! Do not worry about oppression you cannot stop, for their Friend is watching (Eccl 5:8)!

Reader, are you tempted to think, But I have never robbed the poor, and I have never oppressed the afflicted. Really? Let’s see. If you are a husband, have you ever hurt your wife, the weaker vessel, out of bitterness (Col 3:19; I Pet 3:7)? If you are a parent, have you ever hurt a child by a critical, harsh, or overbearing approach (Eph 6:4; Col 3:21)? If you are an employer, have you ever failed to follow through on a commitment (Jas 5:1-5)? Have you ever presumed on the services of other church members (Jer 22:13-14)?

Rachel oppressed Leah, so God gave Leah three times more children, and Rachel died in childbirth (Gen 29:31; 30:14-16; 35:16-20)! Peninah oppressed Hannah, Elkanah’s other wife, so God gave her Samuel, five other children, and her husband’s heart (I Sam 1:1-6; 2:21)! Judas Iscariot oppressed the Lord Jesus Christ, so God dashed his bowels across a field and cut him and his family out of any mercy in this world or the next (Ps 109:1-20).

Jodi had been given a big responsibility— to plan Vacation Bible School for her large church. She thought she had everything lined up, and she probably did a great job. To promote the weeklong kid’s event, she had sent out mailers, canvassed the area with door hangers, sent out emails, put up signs, and even advertised on the local Christian radio station. Then things fell apart.

Just three weeks before VBS start date, she found out that the curriculum supplier had lost her order for supplies. What was worse, when the mistake was discovered, the company had completely run out of all VBS materials.

Yeah. Uh-oh.

There would be no costumes, skit packs, lesson plans, handouts, gifts, music, DVDs, attendance records, bracelets, graphics, posters, magnets, stickers, and the hundreds of other things she had ordered. The church leaders urged Jodi to find an alternative, but then things got even worse. The church accountant discovered a serious accounting error with the church budget. By sheer mistake, the church was in deep financial trouble and had to shell out some major cash to cover some debts. Jodi’s VBS budget was now down to zero. Meanwhile, a church conflict that had been brewing for six months erupted in a violent church split. The youth pastor to whom Jodi reported, plus twenty-three of Jodi’s best volunteers left the church in a huff, never to return.

Thousands of flyers, mailers, and emails had been unleashed in the community. It was too late to cancel, but the task seemed totally impossible. So much for the dreams and visions of happy children, pleased parents, and changed lives, huh?

Jodi’s problem may parallel a situation you’ve faced before. What do you do when your plans, dreams, and vision explode in a dazzling display of lights and color? Leave town? Scream into a pillow? Jump off a bridge?

Thankfully, there is a way ahead that doesn’t involve travel plans, pillows, or interstate overpasses.

Be grateful for God’s sovereignty. Recognizing God’s power and control, you can graciously accept what has happened. Okay, you’re not happy. Fine, you’re steaming. Admittedly, things look very, very bad right now. Remember this: God still has authority. These events are not outside of his ability to control and correct. As Scripture tells us, we can “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18), even the hideously awful ones. It’s more than a platitude; it’s a promise: ”We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

Take a minute to learn a lesson. Whatever your dream was, it didn’t work out the way you planned. What lessons can you learn? Your lesson may be as simple as “Don’t use that supplier ever again,” or it could be as significant as, “I need to hire a better counseling pastor.” Some things were out of your control. Some things may have been unforeseen. Whatever the situation, you probably have a lesson or two to learn. Pausing for a moment of reflection will give you time to release some stress, and more importantly, to plan the way ahead.

Draw up a new set of plans. So maybe one set of plans was destroyed. So be it. Don’t let that keep you from drawing up a new plan. There are still things to be done — maybe bigger, better, and harder things than before. Head back to the drawing board and get to work. Your plans are going to look a lot different, and that’s okay. You’ve just learned some lessons that will inform your planning from now on.

Prepare to work hard. Speaking of work, you’re probably going to have to work hard. Something has just exploded. You now have to clean up the mess. Think of it as the cleanup after a tornado. You didn’t plan on spending the next few weeks of your life in a state of high-power, long-hour work. You have to roll up your sleeves and do it. Find the injured. Salvage the valuables. Clean up the mess. Begin to rebuild. Hard work is ahead. Someone has to do it. Go forth in God’s strength.

Jodi’s VBS event came and went with astonishing results. Jodi had no idea that she could whip out the motivation and leadership skills the way she did. It was like someone else was working through her body. She recruited a new team of volunteers, and planned the whole event from scratch. Thanks to some computer wizardry from an IT volunteer, registration went off without a hitch. Four hundred twenty-three kids showed up on opening day. There may have been a few less decorations than Jodi wanted. The skits were hilarious, albeit ad libbed. The lessons were solidly Biblical. The games were fun. Lives were changed. Despite the seeming tragedy, the event happened with astonishing success. Perhaps the greatest successes happened in the hearts and lives of those who watched the whole thing unfold — from the destruction of plans, to the success of the event.

Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” The same trust in God’s sovereignty that guided you through your crisis can help you as you rebuild. You’ve got plans and vision, and so you should. Ultimately, however, God is the one who does the establishing and building. “In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Of course this is funny for many reasons. The attempt to somehow formalize “scared” to the non-sensical “askeered” is funny enough–though it does sound like something that could appear in KJV, right? And of course the idea that the Lord would tell us not to be afraid because…He has also been afraid?! It works on a lot of different levels. As funny as that is, perhaps this points to the great problem among Christians (especially in North America) today–we are askeered, and we serve a God who is also askeered.

In my favorite all-time Bruce Springsteen lyric:

Fear’s a powerful thing

It can turn a heart black you can trust.

Take a God-filled soul,

fill it with devils and dust.

There is in fact nothing more contrary to God and the things of God than fear. God is love. Perfect love, according to I John, drives out all fear. Love and fear cannot co-exist. And yet fear is the permanent disposition of many Christians right now–askeered of this group, askeered of that group. Askeered of terrorism, cable television, homosexuals, immigrants…whoever “they” or “them” are at the time. Askeered of all the ways the world is changing. Askeered for their families, askeered for themselves. There seem to be so many things in the world of which to be askeered.

The problem of course is that Christians theoretically believe the worst thing that could happen in the world has already happened in the torture and crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth. We killed the Son of love. It cannot get any worse than that. And yet we believe that God overcame even that terror through resurrection–which means there is nothing left to be afraid of. Orthodox Christian belief is that the resurrection of Jesus changed the world–which is why in Matthew’s account there are earthquakes and storms and dead people walking around the Jerusalem. It signaled the beginning of a whole new world. Of course horrible things would still happen. And the world would continue to suffer violence and chaos at times until the Son of love comes again to restore the creation, which the earth itself is longing and sighing for (Romans 8). But ever since the resurrection of Jesus, the world has been set on an unalterable course toward renewal and restoration. This is why Christians believe they don’t have anything to be afraid of–because we believe the resurrection has already changed the world, the world just doesn’t know it yet.

Theoretically. The truth is, a lot of people haven’t got that memo, which is why we are always askeered. And why we are always reacting out of fear. Is there a more reactionary organization in the world than the Church? How odd. You would think that there would not be a more secure, proactive people in the world than the people of God. And yet whatever crises, whatever shifts in culture, whatever things turn–we are always the people running around in panic as if the sky is falling. Didn’t the sky already fall, and God’s response was resurrection?

Fear’s a powerful thing, baby. It will turn your heart black you can trust. No matter how good or well-intentioned you are, fear taints everything and everybody. Fear is holiness in reverse. Nothing good is accomplished out of fear. And yet we still attempt to do kingdom work out of a motivation that only works for demons.

I have spoken negatively before about the cultural approach to “cool”–detached, image conscious, emotionally disengaged–which has no place in the body of Christ. But there is a different connotation for cool–calm, un-rattled, unmoved, confident, secure. And in this sense, I propose we all sign up for the ministry of cool. The world smells our fear like sharks smell blood in the water. It doesn’t matter how “bold” our rhetoric is or how boisterously we talk–people can sense the fear that underwrites our speech.

Because we are afraid, we are always reacting. Instead of keeping to the agenda that we have already been assigned–the agenda that is “Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” the agenda already been set by the resurrection–we are always playing defense. We are reacting to this group, these words, this news. And unfortunately, it is very rare that anything constructive can be said or done for the kingdom of Jesus out of a posture of defense.

People who believe in resurrection don’t have to be defensive about anybody or anything. Isn’t that the very means by which Jesus brought our salvation, His willingness to face the world without self-protection, even to the point of the cross? The very moment that we begin thinking in terms of what we might lose…or worse yet, what “they” might take from us, fear has taken hold.

When you have a gift which neither men nor devils can take from you, nobody other than Jesus has the authority to control the agenda. How many times is Jesus asked a question, only to refuse the premise of the question? How many times to people attempt to rope him into “current events,” to weigh in on the alternatives offered to him? The world needed him to be a zealot, a pharisee, a sadducee. And yet over and over again, Jesus refuses to have the conversation people are having in favor of the conversation they so desperately need. He repeatedly refuses to take the bait that is offered to Him, and instead speaks to the issues of the heart that run so much deeper than the superficial questions that are being asked.

He was able to do this, of course, because His own sense of identity was so secure. Though he was unique as the only begotten son of God, He was not the only person God had called “beloved.” Many times in Scripture God called His people beloved. But when His Father proclaimed, “You are my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased,” Jesus was the only person who really believed what God said about Him and lived in response to that all the time. He was so secure in His identity as God’s beloved, that He never forgot who He was.

We are not nearly so secure in our identity as God’s beloved sons and daughters. So when the world around us begins to shift, we clench our fists and our teeth. We forget who we really are. We wonder what the world might take from us. The more insecure we feel, the louder we speak. But it is not the voice of power, but of panic.

Contrary to popular opinion, especially in the Church that calls Jesus Lord, God is not askeered. So we don’t have to be either. The world is drunk on anger, blame and condemnation. ”It’s all your fault…no, it’s all your fault!” We are so accustomed to people speaking out of their fear, that nothing can be said in that spirit (even about God or Jesus) that can rise above the chaos.

This is not the time for labeling, blaming, condemning, conserving, protecting, defending. For those of us who really believe in the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, this is the time to speak with tenderness, compassion, confidence, love. It is not the time to answer every question that is asked us or accept the terms that are given to us by the world. When the wrong question is asked, we offer better questions. When we are given a multiple choice test, we answer in essay. When we are asked for a clear answer, we respond with a parable. When we are asked for a position, we give our testimony.

That’s too naive, you say. These are complex times. The world is a different place now than it was then. We, of course, are smarter than Jesus. We assume that the world needs a different or perhaps more sophisticated response from the Church than what was offered by her founder. It’s a novel idea these days that the same manner in which Jesus inaugurated the kingdom is the way the kingdom should be built today. This kind of kingdom building does not require great intelligence, skill, money, political power or influence. But it does require fearlessness.

There is nothing in the world to be afraid of if Jesus Christ is resurrected. It is precisely because He is not askeered that you don’t have to be askeered.

The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.

Zephaniah 3:17 is an absolutely magnificent promise that is meant to make us feel God’s joy. Like when the father ran to embrace his prodigal son, some scenes in Scripture are especially meant to astonish us with mercy.

But not everyone can bring themselves to believe God’s love for us is that powerful. Though, as Pastor John writes, Zephaniah wants to help us get it:

[Zephaniah] labors under the wonderful inspiration of God to overcome every obstacle that would keep a person from believing — really feeling and enjoying — the unspeakable news that God exults over us with singing. (178)

But there are many who struggle, and you might be one. In chapter seven of The Pleasures of God John Piper sketches a hypothetical dialogue between a one who struggles and the rationale of Zephaniah. He speaks for Zephaniah and interacts with the potential inhibitions that keep us from believing in God’s love. It goes like this:

A Dialogue with the Logic of Zephaniah1

“Can you feel the wonder of this today — that God is rejoicing over you with loud singing?”

“No, I can’t, because I am too guilty. I am unworthy. My sin is too great, and the judgments against me are too many. God could never rejoice over me.”

“But consider Zephaniah 3:15. God foresees your hesitancy. He understands. So his prophet says, ‘The Lord has taken away the judgments against you!’ Can you not feel the wonder that the Lord exults over you with loud singing today, even though you have sinned? Can you not feel that the condemnation has been lifted because he bruised his own Son in your place, if you will only believe?”

“No, I can’t, because I am surrounded by enemies. Obstacles press me in on every side. There are people who never let me believe this. There are people at work who would make my life miserable if God were my treasure. There are people in my family who would ostracize me. I have friends who would do everything to drag me down. I could never go on believing. I would have too many enemies. The oppression would be too much to bear, I could never do it.”

“But consider Zephaniah 3:17, ‘The Lord is a warrior who gives victory’; and verse 19, ‘Behold, at that time I will deal with your oppressors [says the Lord]’; and verse 15, ‘He has cast out your enemies.’ Can you feel the wonder that God is doing everything that needs to be done for you to enjoy his own enjoyment of you? Can you see that the enemies and the oppressors are not too strong for God? Nothing can stop him, when he exults over you with loud singing. Can you feel the wonder of it now? Can you believe that he rejoices over you?”

“No, still I can’t, because he is a great and holy God and I feel like he is far away from me. I am very small. I am a nobody. The world is a huge place with many important people. There are major movements and institutions that he is concerned with and happy about. I am too small. God is like the president. He is far away in Washington, busy with big things.”

“But consider Zephaniah 3:15, ‘The king of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst’; and verse 17: ‘The Lord, your God, is in your midst.’ He is not far from you. Yes, I admit that this staggers the imagination and stretches credibility almost to the breaking point — that God can be present personally to everyone who comes to him and believes on him. But say to yourself, again and again, He is God! He is God! What shall stop God from being close to me if he wants to be close to me? He is God! He is God! The very greatness that makes him seem too far to be near, is the greatness that enables him to do whatever he pleases, including being near to me. Has he not said, for this very reason, ‘I dwell in a high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and humble spirit’ (Isaiah 57:15)? Can you not then feel the marvel that God makes merry over you — even with loud singing — when you come to him and believe him?”

“But no, you just don’t understand. I am the victim and the slave of shame. I have been endlessly belittled by my parents (see Zephaniah 2:8, 10). I have been scoffed at and threatened and manipulated and slandered. Inside this cocoon of shame even the singing of God sounds faint and far away and indecipherable. It is as though my shame has made me deaf to anyone’s happiness with me, especially God’s. I cannot feel it.”

“Now I am sure I do not feel all that you feel. I have not been through what you have been through. But God is no stranger to shame. Unbelievable shame was heaped on his Son (Hebrews 12:2), terrible slander, repeated belittling, even from his own townsfolk (Matthew 13:55–58). Therefore, ‘We do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses’ (Hebrews 4–15). I know I have never walked in your shoes. I did not have to live with the family you lived with. But Jesus knows. He feels it with you. And best of all, his Father says right here in Zephaniah 3:19, ‘I will save the lame and gather the outcast, and I will change their shame into praise and renown in all the earth.’ Is it not amazing how well God knows you? Can you not feel the warmth of his heart as he makes provision for every question you have? Do you not yet hear the singing of God as you draw near?”