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He was once regarded as one of the best business leaders in the world. At the end of his career, he was disgraced and, by some measures, considered one of the worst business leaders of all time.

Al Dunlap believed that the primary goad of a company was to make money for its shareholders. To that end, he would lead an organization to massive layoffs and plant closings. The short-term profits would soar, and so would the value of the company.

He led Scott Paper with that ruthless behavior. Thousands of employees lost their jobs. Plants were closed. But it seemed like he had the formula for success when he sold Scott Paper to Kimberly-Clark for $2.8 billion and walked away with his own $100 million golden parachute.

Over time, the Dunlap’s true colors began to become clear. He would become CEO of Sunbeam in 1996. He took measures to make the company profitable at all costs, even if they were unethical or illegal. He eventually led the company to bankruptcy.

Short-term leaders and Long-haul Leadership

Sometimes the metaphor “flash in the pan” is used to describe leaders like Dunlap. They appear to be great leaders, but that greatness is illusionary. Over time, the true value of the leader is made clear.

On the other extreme are long-haul leaders. These are leaders who, most often, do not begin with great recognition and fanfare. Over time, however, the greatness of their leadership becomes evident. Some will remark that the leader “came out of nowhere.” Such is rarely the case. True great leaders for the long haul have been in formation for years. They work hard but rarely get recognition for a season. At some point, however, the value of their leadership begins to show.

My research team and I have examined leaders and their attributes for nearly thirty years. These long haul leaders especially intrigued us, and how they built their careers ultimately to become leaders of renown. In all of them we found four dominating traits.

Key #1: Passion

The long-haul leaders continually made choices to work in areas where they had passion for their jobs. They made tough decisions at times to take lower-paying jobs so they could follow their dreams. Passionate workers become passionate leaders. Passionate leaders often become great leaders. “I refuse to work at any job,” one leader told us, “unless I can be totally sold out to what I’m doing.

Key #2: Work Ethic

Because they were passionate about their work, long-haul leaders had a strong work ethic. They did what was necessary to get the job done. They were not clock punchers. Because they so loved their work, they hardly saw their vocation as work. It was fun and rewarding.

Key #3: Persistence

Some of the stories of long-haul leaders are nothing short of amazing. They were the leaders who stuck with their passion when others had given up. They measured success in increments instead of one big fanfare. They understood that success is sometimes three steps forward and two steps backwards.

Key #4: Humility

Long-haul leaders experience trials. They at times endure failures. They are often disregarded before they gain any recognition. In those times they learn humility. They learn what is like to be last and hungry. So when they do have their moment of breakout leadership, they accept the rewards with humility and gratitude. They are the antithesis of entitled leaders.

What Are Your Stories of Leadership?

Do you know any long-haul leaders? Do you know any entitled leaders? What have you learned about them? What have you applied to your life as a leader? I would love to hear your stories.

“Wouldn’t it be just great if you didn’t have to worry about anything!”
“Wouldn’t it be just great if God took care of all your problems!”
… Well …
… it’s not just a wonderful thought …
… but it’s exactly what God wants to do!

In Genesis 2:2 we read that after God had finished creation …

… he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

In Hebrews 3:7-12 Paul refers to that same rest, saying …
“Do not harden your hearts through unbelief, but enter into God’s rest!”

How will entering God’s rest change my situation?

When did God enter His rest?
When all the work was done!
So if God is telling us to enter His rest …
… then God is telling us that the work is done!
… In other words …
God is saying … stop striving and trying to do the works yourselves!
… Whatever needs to be done … is done!

… How do you enter God’s rest? …
Simply by believing God’s Word and trusting in Him!

So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief. — Heb 3:19

To enter God’s rest, His presence, you have to have faith in God,
… you have to believe what He said and trust that He will do it …

But without faith it is impossible to please him:
for he that cometh to God must believe that he is,
and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. — Heb 11:6

What happens when you turn to God in faith … when you enter His rest?

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may
obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. — Heb 4:16

God’s rest is His presence … that place of mercy and grace!
… that place of unmerited favor and grace in your time of need!
… that place where …

But my God shall supply all your need
according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. — Phil 4:19

Do you want to enter God’s rest?
Then …
… believe He is Who He says He is …
… and that He will do what He says He will do, for you!

… Read …
Heb. 11:1-6
Psalm 91…

Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.

An adulteress is incredible! She has the least amount of conscience and the most amount of pretension! She commits one of the most heinous acts of betrayal possible, yet she can talk and live, as if she has done nothing! Having just described four wonderful things beyond his imagination, the prophet Agur compared an adulteress to them (30:1,18-19).

The way an eagle soars on thermal updrafts and dives after prey is marvelous. The way a snake moves without arms or legs on a smooth rock is marvelous. The way a bulky ship sails smoothly through seas without oars or trail is marvelous. And the ease and power with which a man seduces a virgin is marvelous. These four things are hard to believe, and so is it hard to believe a married woman can have sex with another man (30:18-20).

The eating of this proverb does not involve food – it is the sexual acts of the adulteress. She opens her legs to a stranger and enjoys physical pleasures limited to her husband and his bed only. Eating is used here as a euphemism for sexual intercourse, as it was used earlier (5:15; 9:17; 20:17). While the Bible may use plainer speech in other places, it chooses a euphemism to enhance the proverb here (Ezek 16:17,25-26; 23:16-21).

The wiping of her mouth does not involve a napkin – it is the covering of her tracks to avoid detection. She does everything necessary to hide her liaisons from her husband and others. She waits for her husband to be away (7:19-20; Gen 39:7-12). She speedily takes care of household duties; she makes the lost time disappear; she hides any signs of her sin; she washes her body and prepares to meet her husband as if everything is fine.

She pretends by her words and actions to her husband that all is well. She dotes on her husband at home and in public. She enters his bed and is intimate with him as if all is well. She plays with her children, speaks with the neighbors, attends church on Sunday, dresses merrily, and continues to wear his wedding ring! There is no compunction, guilt, or remorse. She acts as if she has done nothing wrong at all, in spite of her heinous sin.

The present generation glamorizes adulteresses by movies and serials, performing artists and actresses, romance novels, psychotherapists, and profane marriage counselors. Think “Braveheart,” “Doctor Zhivago,” “Desperate Housewives,” “Sex and the City,” Princess Diana, etc.! Hollywood never glamorizes marriage! Never! While adultery once brought capital punishment, public flogging, or branding, it is laughed at today and admired as an exciting event. Though a crime on the books of many states, it is not enforced in any state. The whole world eats, wipes its mouth, and says, “I have done no wickedness!”

But there is a God in heaven that hates adultery and adulteresses. It is not an affair: it is not having a lover; it is adultery (Ex 20:14)! Adulteresses received the death penalty in a nation where God wrote the laws (Lev 20:10; Ezek 16:38).

He designed the woman’s body to prove virginity when entering marriage, and He gave a test under Moses to expose infidelity after marriage (Deut 22:13-21; Num 5:11-31). How far did He go in demanding female chastity? He called for cutting off a wife’s hands for touching another man’s privates, though assisting her husband in a fight (Deut 25:11-12)!

For any adulteress convicted and condemned by this proverb, repentance makes all the difference in the world! The Lord Jesus Christ is as quick to forgive this sin as any other (Luke 7:36-50; John 4:4-42; 8:1-11; I Cor 6:9-11)! Jesus received repenting harlots gladly, and they entered His kingdom before religious types (Matt 21:31-32)! Glory!

God blessed Bathsheba to be in the lineage of Jesus Christ twice (II Sam 12:24; Matt 1:6; Luke 3:31; I Chron 3:5)! Both Tamar and Rahab made the same lineage, though guilty of the same sin (Matt 1:3,5)! While the sins of Mary Magdalene, once possessed by seven devils, are not known, Jesus appeared to her first after His resurrection (Mark 16:9)! Rejoice, repentant reader! Your sins are forgiven! Go in peace, and sin no more!

The proverb describes adulterous women, for Proverbs is primarily a book of wisdom and warnings for young men (1:1-7). But there is an adulterer for every adulteress! Let every man remember that God’s justice required the death of the adulteress and adulterer (Lev 20:10)! Godly men make covenants with their eyes when they marry – they will not think about sexual intimacy with another woman (Job 31:1). Solomon condemned looking at other women, and he taught total fulfillment for men in marriage (6:24-26; 5:18-20).

There is more than one way to be an adulteress. The very thought of foolishness is sin, so any fantasies of the heart are equal in the sight of God to the actual deed (24:9; Ex 20:17; Job 31:1; Matt 5:28). A godly woman is chaste in thought and deed (Titus 2:5; I Pet 3:2). There is no more liberty for a woman to read romance novels, watch soap operas, or enjoy Hollywood romance movies than for a man to fantasize with pornography.

There is more than one way to be an adulteress. The holy God of heaven considers friendship with the world by His saints or churches to be spiritual adultery (Ezek 16:1-59; Hos 1:1-3; 9:1; II Cor 11:1-4; Jas 4:4). He is a jealous God, and He will not share His glory, affection, or worship with others (Deut 4:23-26; Josh 24:19; Heb 12:28-29).

He rejects those who think they can love Him and the things of the world at the same time (Matt 6:24; Phil 3:18-19; I John 2:15-17). He rejects compromised worship like a man would reject his wife remembering or doting on other lovers (Ezek 23:38-39; II Cor 6:14-17). If you love the world, you are flirting or committing adultery with His enemy!

Jesus Christ showed John a vision of a great whore with harlot daughters, who was full of abominations and filthy fornication (Rev 17:1-6). This whore also eats, wipes her mouth, and professes to be innocent and pure, for she is a specific church renowned for spiritual fornication against the God of heaven. Her severe judgment is described in detail (Rev 17:15-17; 18:1-24). What church is she? The city that ruled the world in the days of John (Rev 17:18)! Who are her daughters? The churches that came out of her later!

Forward email

We all at some time or another, have the feeling that …
… Someone is watching us …
And with modern technology, and what we see on film and TV …
…the likelihood of this being so is great!
But even worse than being watched by man …
… many people, just like Job in the Old Testament …
… believe that God is watching them …
… to see whether they are doing anything wrong!
!!!
Is God watching us? …

For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth,
to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him.
— 2 Chr 16:9

Sure God is watching us, all the time …
… but not to see whether we are doing something wrong!
No! God is looking to see if He can be strong on our behalf …
… just looking for an opportunity to do something for us!
!!!
God’s eyes are scanning the whole earth …
… looking to see whose heart is directed towards Him!
… looking to see who is trusting Him for help, for answers,
… looking to see whose faith He can respond to!

God is not looking to see if He can find fault with us!
No! …
… and God is not trying to find something to hold against us.
For God’s only interest in our sin …
… is to remove it far from us,
as far away as He possibly can …

As far as the east is from the west,
so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
— Psalm 103:12

Although not everything was right in Job’s life … (Job 1:8)
… God considered only the good.
God did not listen to the devil’s accusations and lies …
… and neither should you listen to the devil’s lies nor receive his accusations!

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them:
because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
— 1 John 4:4

Don’t you hang onto those transgressions and sin …
… repent … let them go … and let God!
!!!
Yes! … God is watching …
… to see if He can be strong on your behalf …

Let Him..

A poor man that oppresseth the poor is like a sweeping rain which leaveth no food.

Poverty does not make men charitable, noble, or virtuous! Solomon observed poor men being cruel and stingy to other poor men, which he considered a perverse practice. And he saw poor men given authority or riches becoming merciless tyrants in abusing their power over former peers. This is vanity and insanity. He, who ought to remember his former state and show tender kindness, grinds them instead for his arrogant greed.

There is no virtue in poverty. In fact, poverty generally indicates a base mind, foolish heart, and/or lazy body. All other things being equal, the reason one man is poorer than his neighbor is due to a foolish life. Apart from the overriding blessing or judgment of God, diligence and wisdom bring success, and slothfulness and folly bring poverty (10:4; 11:24; 12:24; 22:29). To believe otherwise is to make failure the reward of wisdom!

The purpose and profit of rain is to nourish the earth for growing food. And it does this wonderfully, when it falls gently and steadily. But when rain comes in a violent storm, it can easily wash away topsoil and the seeds contained in it by a flood of water. It can also flatten and soak growing plants and ruin them for food. In both cases, the very thing that ought to be for the profit of a field and its owner becomes a cruel and destructive force.

A poor man, whether still in poverty or given some authority or success, ought to have pity on his poor brethren. He should remember his condition or history. But it is a fact that poor men can be very critical of other poor men, which Solomon had observed in his study of human existence. And if you exalt or honor a foolish poor man, you will likely create a monster that will trample on those that he should pity and protect (30:21-22).

Is your memory good? Or do you despise those that are what you were? Father, do you pity children by remembering your folly at their age? Businessman, do you recall difficult days in your career enough to comfort those having them now? Supervisor, are you compassionate to employees, having been one last year? Student, can you pity a younger sibling as he struggles with what confused you a few years ago? Grandparent, do you remember past difficulties and help your children or grandchildren facing them now?

Christian, you were the poorest of the poor! Depraved, destitute, and damned! You were a criminal destined for hell! But Jesus Christ gave His life to redeem you from sin and death and make you a child of God with an eternal inheritance. Glory! Can you remember your vile history and the great forgiveness you were freely given and forgive those who sin against you (Matt 18:21-35)? Or are you like a sweeping rain leaving no food?

The Lord Jesus Christ went from the poverty of a carpenter’s son to the Prince of the kings of the earth (Rev 1:5). Does He remember and pity you in your weak condition and hard trials? Indeed! (Ps 103:13-14; Heb 2:17-18; 4:14-16.) David wrote of Him, “He shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain” (II Sam 23:4).

The man at Home Depot said I had to choose between having kids and having a yard.

I have five kids. And our friends next door have five kids. Inner-city living means that most of the biking, digging, running, building, light saber wars and ball games occur inside the fenced confines of our little yard.

Choice made, I guess.

Spring’s advent has resurrected my fantasy of a lush, well-kept lawn with trimmed bushes, weeded flowerbeds, and drainpipes that don’t get stamped flat. That’s what I want: beauty and order and peace.

But my yard is not beautiful and orderly. Being long on kids and short on time, it’s a mess. About 30% of my lawn is now dirt. There are toys scattered around, winter-blown trash in the corners, overgrown hedges, weedy beds, and a neglected garden. There are holes under the front fence dug by a dog pining for freedom. There’s a planter the dog broke by the front step still sitting in two pieces. That’s what I’m used to seeing: my yard’s deficiencies.

Yesterday during my prayer time I was walking through my disordered yard, feeling my grumbling rising, when suddenly I saw it all as a picture of me. . . .

I long for a well-kept life full of beauty and order and peace. But I have trash in my corners, weeds in my garden, and overgrown bushes. Much activity has left barren places. I’m not beautiful and orderly. I’m in many ways a mess. That’s what I’m used to seeing: my deficiencies. My little gratitude betrays how little of grace I see.

And then I looked closely at a lilac flower just coming into bloom. And it preached to me: “Consider the [lilacs], how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these” (Luke 12:27). Have you only eyes to see your ugly sin and defects? Can you not see the God-made beautiful things that are growing? Look for grace, Jon!

Then I looked at a barren spot and it was teaming with ant-life. And it preached to me: “Go to the ant… consider her ways, and be wise” (Proverbs 6:6). Not all barrenness is lifeless. Look closely. There is wisdom to be found.

Then I looked at the sun soaking my city with life-giving light. And it preached to me: “In your light do we see light” (Psalm 36:9). Though the Light of the world exposes our evil (John 3:20), the real reason he came is to give you “the light of life” (John 8:12). Having your ugliness exposed is itself a gift that you might stop looking for beauty in the wrong places. Turn your eyes on the one true Beauty. Take heart! He will complete the good work he began in you (Philippians 1:6) and make “everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).

What are you seeing today? (Clue: your gratitude or grumbling will tell you.) Look! Look for grace!

________

Previous posts from Jon Bloom —

A Prayer for a Lukewarm Heart
If You Feel Overwhelmed, Eat!
The Cross Guarantees the Death of Our Dark Guest
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This is a series that appears on a weekly basis here at JosephSangl.com – “Biblical Financial Lessons”

Seed Costs Money – Mark 26-29

26 He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. 27 Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. 28 All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. 29 As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come.”

Most financially broken people fail to recognize the fundamental fact that in order to have a harvest, one must first sow seed. No matter how much you pray, seek God, call down fire from the heavens, or plead with God to bring you a tremendous harvest, one will have no harvest if seed is not sown. This is so clear to me because I grew up on a farm. If we did not invest the time and energy to plant seed in the Spring, there would be no harvest in the Fall.

People get fired up about the idea of a huge harvest, but then they realize that seed costs tremendous money. For example, special hybrid seed can cost 20 to 30 times what the harvested seed will sell for!

Think about an author who dreamed of having a published book, but no publisher would print it for them. Without being willing to spend money to self-publish the book, the author would just be standing around hoping for her dream of having a real-life printed book become reality. BUT if she were willing to spend money to self-publish the book (sowing the seed), the author would be positioned to reap a harvest as the book was sold around the world.

MAIN POINT: Most people remain broke without ever reaping a tremendous harvest because they lust for the harvest, but are unwilling to spend the money necessary to acquire, plant, and cultivate the seed.

Application Questions

Have you saved up money to be able to purchase seed?
Are you actively sowing seed?

One of the most commonly asked question we get here at NewSpring Church from staff members at other churches is, “how can I ‘lead up?’ Or, “how in the world can I influence those above me in leadership? OR, “how can I best help my senior pastor” I think it those are GREAT questions…so I asked Shane Duffey, one of the members of our senior management team to write a guest post on this subject, trust me, it is well worth the three minutes it will take you to read through this…and by applying what you read here I believe any leadership team can be healthy!

If you are a leader there are a few things I know about you. You are a decision maker, you can communicate vision and direction, you are driven, you have experienced victory and you have experience defeat. A leader is only a leader, in my opinion, when all of these things are true. And there is one more thing that is true of all leaders… you have followers. You have a team of people who look to you for direction and challenge and encouragement and at some level they trust where you’re going or they wouldn’t follow you.

Leadership is a high calling and it comes with a lot of responsibility. This responsibility doesn’t end with just the accomplishing of tasks or goals because the greatest responsibility a leader has is to the people he or she leads. The leader’s team is made up of real people with real ideas and with a real desire to succeed both in work and in life. A leader that forsakes the life of those he leads and focuses only on the work they produce will soon find they have no team to lead.

How can a leader both focus on moving the organization forward and at the same time invest into the lives of those he or she leads? I believe one of the answers is to realize that each individual on the team has the ability to both see and do things that the leader may not be able to see or do. And as important as that realization is, it is even more important to create an environment where that leader can tap into the gifts and abilities embodied in each individual team member.

I love working for Perry Noble. He is has all the qualities that a leader must possess to be successful. His vision is strong and clear and his ability to rally our team is unmatched. But the thing that really sets Perry apart from most leaders is what he asks of those who follow him. He asks us to lead him.

Perry has set up our leadership team at NewSpring Church to operate in an atmosphere of what he calls ‘mutual submission’. Now, we all know that Perry is the one ultimately in charge or as Mark Driscoll calls it, “the first among equals’, but Perry is clear in his charge to us that he needs us to push on his ideas, question them and state objections to anything we feel is off base.

What Perry asks of his leadership team and from our whole staff is for us to ‘lead up’. John Maxwell talks about this idea in his book The 360 Leader and to paraphrase this concept, it simply means that any leader, at any level, needs each individual on his or her team to apply upon them leadership pressure. No real leader needs ‘yes men’ and no real leader wants to lead in a vacuum of self-assurance. As Perry often tells us, he doesn’t want to be the emperor with no clothes. If something is wrong he needs us to tell him and when the pressure is on, he needs us to help him.

Leading up isn’t just about voicing disagreement with ideas it is also verbalizing support and loyalty when the role of a leader is at its toughest point. Leading up requires honesty and commitment to the leader, even when it isn’t comfortable or easy.

At NewSpring, we understand our priorities when it comes to authority in our organization. Perry has led the way in asking us to first be committed to Jesus and NewSpring Church before being committed to him. So, for me, this makes taking on the challenge of leading up easier to execute because I know that Perry concern is beyond his personal success.

One of the things that cripple so many leaders is a team that feels like it has no voice. I have heard many times the frustration of a friend or co-worker as they tell me of some problem that their boss should, they believe, just know about. I always ask, didn’t your boss trust you to lead in this area? Didn’t he or see give you the authority you need to do what is being asked? Then how can your leaders know there is a problem unless you tell them?

Too many times I have found that person unwilling to take their problem to their leader. They sometimes offer the idea that it’s not their place to challenge the situation and with that attitude they have single handedly crippled their team and their leader. Every leader must create an environment where team members can lead up, but just as important is the commitment for each team member to be willing to lead up.

There have been times Perry has brought an idea to our leadership team and we have pushed back on that idea. Likewise, there have been times where Perry wasn’t sure about an idea but our leadership team has pushed him to move forward. Either way, Perry has been able to trust that his team doesn’t just ‘go along to get along’ but rather we are committed to pushing back or pushing forward to reach the best decision, no matter what type of pressure that puts on Perry.

To be clear, leading up doesn’t just mean disagreeing with your leader, it also means empowering your leader to move forward when they think they can’t. Strength for the follower lies not only in being honest with your leader, but also in a commitment to the organization over the leader.

For me, a couple of simple ground rules I follow help me know how and when to lead up. If it’s a matter of integrity (a personal attitude or action displayed by the leader) then I take that issue to the person in private, one on one. If the issue is a matter of strategy (a idea or plan offered up by the leader), then I address that issue in the team setting, as a part of the over all discussion. Again, this is not just about disagreement, in both cases (integrity or strategy), I can push back or push forward.

Anyone who has a leadership gift and position will rarely find it difficult to put downward pressure on their team to perform. I have found few leaders who are open to and create an environment to accept real pressure from the individuals on their team. Fewer still are the number of followers who will see their responsibility to lead their leader and own the responsibility to do so.

What does every leader need? Every leader needs each person on their team to love the organization and the leader enough to be honest and open… when its time to push back and when its time to push forward. That’s the only way everyone reaches their maximum potential where everyone – organization, team and individual – goes further, faster than you would have ever thought possible.

In teaching us how to live life here on earth …
… The Bible gives us this instruction …

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God …
— Eph 6:13

Why do we need to put on all of God’s Armour?
… not so that we can impress others …
… and also not so that we are weighed down
But because it is vitally important …

…that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day,and having done all, to stand.
— Eph 6:13

To stand against who or what?

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion,
walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
— 1 Pet 5:8

Yes we have an enemy called satan …
… who does not care what you think, or how you feel …
The worse you feel … the easier a target you are for the devil!
The weaker you are … the more the devil is going to attack you!
!!!
Does it say anywhere …
… that if you are weak the devil will leave you alone?
No it does not!
Neither does it say …
… that you have to be strong to resist the devil!
But …
… what the Bible does say, is …

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee:
for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
— 2 Cor 12:9

You don’t have to be strong to beat the devil …
No! … all you need to do is to put on God’s armour!
And … you are not fighting him in your own strength …

For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal,
but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;
— 2 Cor 10:4

It does not matter how inadequate you may feel!
It only matters what you wear and in whom you trust!

because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
— 1 John 4:4

So … put on the whole Armour of God …
… and stand your ground!

Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man’s friend by hearty counsel.

The aroma, odor, or scent of good cologne or perfume can bring deep pleasure to your soul through your olfactory nerves (7:17; Ps 45:7-8; Song 1:3; 3:6; 4:10). Scent is a powerful sense. The effect is immediate and strong. In the same way, a good and honest friend can lift your spirit and cause great pleasure by sincere and profitable advice. This is an observation of Solomon. Do you have such friends? Are you such a friend?

Man by nature is selfish, and most friends pursue their own agenda and interests in their relationship with you (II Tim 3:1-2; Titus 3:3). They do not tell you this directly, but they talk far more about themselves than inquire about you. They love you for your ears! Their talk is self-centered, superficial, and without tangible value for your soul. They eat with you, banter with you, and flatter you; but they do not truly serve you for your own good.

Most friends are little more than acquaintances. They tell you about their circumstances, and they may even inquire about and listen to yours. They send you a birthday and anniversary card, and you return the same to them. They consider mutual flattery and your companionship when they need it to be sweet, but they know little to nothing of the sweetness described in this proverb. If you lose your health, position, or wealth, they are not nearly as friendly; they may even disappear (14:20; 19:4,7; Ps 38:11).

Great friends do much more (17:17; 18:24; I Sam 18:3; 20:17). They are more interested in your profit than their pleasure, your perfection than their peace. They understand true love – the sacrificial desire for your prosperity in soul and body. Hard times do not drive them away from you; hard times draw them closer to you: they know they can fill a greater role and help you more in difficulty than in success.

What is hearty counsel? It is counsel from the heart – genuine, sincere, and affectionate. It is counsel filled with goodwill and kindly sentiment, warm with affection and friendly feelings. It is the opposite of superficial chatter, foolish banter, selfish exchanges, or evil flattery. And it is more than advice and instruction, no matter how true and valuable. Sympathetic understanding is a balm for the soul (Rom 12:15; Job 2:11-12; 42:11).

How is it sweet? It is rare, comforting, and provocative to the soul. It stirs the spirit with confidence, goodwill, hope, joy, and thanksgiving. As pleasant odors can stir the body, so hearty counsel pleasantly enlivens the soul. Pleasures are far better shared, and sorrows must be shared (Eccl 4:9-12). Most measure friendship as sweet depending on what they take from the relationship. But that is not true with godly friends (Matt 7:12; Acts 20:35).

Jonathan and David were the greatest friends in the Bible. They met after David killed Goliath and became Israel’s hero. Though the heir apparent of Israel’s throne, Jonathan loved David for his courage, graciousness, and godliness. While other men would have envied and hated David, Jonathan loved him as his own soul (I Sam 18:1-3). The affection and loyalty were so fervent that Jonathan covenanted his life and service to David, and David covenanted to protect Jonathan’s family (I Sam 18:4; 19:1-2; 20:9-17).

When fleeing for his life from King Saul, David often hid in obscure places for safety. Jonathan, though the king’s son and heir to the throne (I Sam 20:30-31), and though a mighty man of valor himself (I Sam 14:1-17), went into the woods and encouraged David in the Lord (I Sam 23:16). Jonathan reminded David of God’s faithfulness and promised his own. He lifted David up from spiritual discouragement and heartily comforted him. How sweet that friendship and counsel was to both of them that day in the wood!

Consider the counsel Jonathan gave David (I Sam 23:17). He first said, There is no reason to fear my father; God will deliver you (Ps 27:1-14). Then he said, You will be the next king, because God will keep His promise (I Sam 16:13). Third, he humbly submitted to God’s choice of David and promised his devotion and service (17:17). And fourth, he told David that his father knew he had chosen David over himself (I Sam 20:30-31)!

Was this friendship and counsel sweet to David? The answer is clear (I Sam 23:18). They made a covenant together before the LORD. Jonathan promised his loyalty and service to David above his father and Israel’s throne; David promised Jonathan his desired position and the perpetual care of his family. How sweet the friendship and counsel was to David! He counted Jonathan’s love greater than the love of any of his wives (II Sam 1:26).

Jonathan was not David’s only friend. This virtuous man had many friends. Consider Ittai the Gittite, one of many of the best of the Philistines that chose treason against their nation to spend their lives serving David (II Sam 15:16-23). Consider Hiram king of Tyre, who did favors for David and his son out of love to him (I Kgs 5:1; II Sam 5:11).

There are other friends in the Bible. Consider Jehu and Jehonadab purging Baal worship from Israel (II Kgs 10:15-28). Do you know of Paul and Timothy and the building of New Testament churches among the Gentiles (Acts 16:1-3; Phil 2:19-22; II Tim 1:1-5)?

Have you read of Aquila and Priscilla giving hearty counsel to Apollos (Acts 18:24-28)? Andrew was a true friend to Peter (John 1:40-42), and Philip to Nathaniel (John 1:43-51). What of Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1:16-17; 3:1-5; 4:13-17) and Luke and Theophilus (Luke 1:1-4; Acts 1:1)? And Mary, Martha, Lazarus, and Jesus (Luke 10:38-42; John 11:1-46)? And you cannot forget the hearty counsel that Jethro gave Moses (Ex 18:1-23).

Hearty counsel includes rebukes and warnings. David wrote, “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities” (Ps 141:5). Kind correction by one who desires your perfection is sweet and true friendship. Contrary to the world’s notions, true love corrects sin (Lev 19:17). Godly men desire wounds of a friend more than kisses of an enemy, and open rebuke is better than secret love (27:5-6).

David had many wives, but he only had one great friend among them. Who was it? Not his first love, Michal, for she despised his intense love of God and His worship (II Sam 6:20-23). Not the mother of Solomon, Bathsheba, for she participated in the heinous sin of adultery with him (II Sam 11:1-5). It was Abigail, who heartily warned him against ruining his reputation by the murder of her wicked husband (I Sam 25:1-44). How sweet was this counsel? He blessed her and married her as soon as she was available!

Where are such friends found? They are very rare, but they are found among the saints of the Lord Jesus Christ, who have learned true friendship from their Lord and Master (John 13:34-35; 15:11-17). These saints are in the true churches of Jesus Christ, where the Holy Spirit and the Word of God have molded men’s hearts to be the sacrificing, serving, sensitive, and sympathetic friends that this proverb describes (Phil 1:3-5). After all, the blood and doctrine of Jesus Christ is by far the tightest bond of all among men.

How do you learn such friendship? By the fear of the Lord, the love of Jesus Christ, walking in the Holy Spirit, and the practice of I Corinthians 13:4-7! It is these ingredients and these alone that will make you the heart-rejoicing friend of this proverb. There are no shortcuts. Neglect one of these factors, and you will be a vain friend (18:24). You have the ability to relate to other men (27:19), and you must use it to improve them (27:17).

There is no room for selfishness, self-protection, or self-promotion in true friendship. You must be willing to expose yourself to your friend in order to help him. How else can you comfort him when he is in trouble “by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” (II Cor 1:4)? The apostle instructed, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another” (Jas 5:16). Can you develop this heart of a true friend?

How important are such friends? They should be esteemed and protected above your own family members (27:10). Great efforts must be made to avoid offences (18:19). Solomon kept Hiram as a good friend, who had always been a lover of David (I Kings 5:1-18). But foolish and profane Rehoboam forsook his father Solomon’s friends for his own ignorant buddies and lost the majority of the kingdom to his enemy (I Kings 12:1-20).

Dear reader, will you add the precious odor of true friendship to this vile world? Or will you add your own stench of selfish insensitivity? Will you make your way to the house of God and find this soul communion among the saints of God? If your church lacks this kind of friendship, then show them how it is done! And honor those that do it to you! There is no friend like Jesus Christ, so begin by cultivating your relationship with Him.