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Seven Reasons Why Marriages Fail

We finished up our singles series on Sunday…it lasted five weeks, but I felt like I could have taught for 15 more. I am so desperate to see the covenant of marriage taken seriously by the church and I pray that teenagers and 20 somethings will be the generation that really does begin to see as God sees when it comes to this issue.
I hate seeing marriages fall apart…it’s NEVER pretty…EVER. Today I wanted to share seven reasons why marriages fall apart…

#1 – The Couple Takes The Commitment Too Lightly – Whenever a couple enters into marriage thinking, “well, if this doesn’t work out then I will just…” there is a good shot that the marriage isn’t going to make it. We need to stop planning for our divorce before the ceremony actually takes place!!! When the vows take place…those aren’t words that should be taken lightly…but rather a promise before a Holy and Awesome God that should be prayed through and thought about…A LOT!

#2 – Compromise Is The Foundation – When a person feels like they are not getting God’s best…but convinces themselves that, with a little time, the other person can be shaped up…there’s trouble. Jesus leads us…but never to compromise. (BTW…if he/she is asking you to compromise before marriage…their pursuit PROBABLY isn’t Jesus but rather getting you out of your clothes!)

#3 – Unrealistic Expectations – I know people that once thought, “once I get married I will be happy!” And…they’re not happy! Too many couples go into marriage thinking that somehow the other person is going to fill a void that only JESUS could fill…this is dangerous! (BTW…ladies, “he” is not going to make you happy, if you aren’t happy now you are going to CRUSH him when he can’t fulfill your desire. And dude…”she” is NOT going to have sex with you all of the time…she’s a woman with a heart and a soul, not a sex toy that should be available at your desire!!!)

#4 – Bad Counsel – It’s sad…but in America today there are more people who will buy into what a talk show host who has never been married says about the subject than what the Scriptures say! OR…instead of seeking godly counsel when the marriage is in trouble they will surround themselves with people who will affirm their dysfunctional ideas rather than call them out. When we refuse to seek what Jesus says on an issue…it’s NOT going to go well.

#5 – Selfishness – Whenever a person believes the marriage is all about “getting my needs met,” it’s over!!! Marriage is NOT someone else’s service opportunity but rather OUR opportunity to serve our spouse.

#6 – Laziness – Couples date before marriage…and stop doing so soon after the ceremony! Marriage takes WORK! I am SO guilty of being lazy at times…giving my best at work and then coming home and expecting Lucretia to be content with the leftovers. SHE’S NOT! That is why DATING after marriage is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than dating before the marriage! If a man stops pursuing…and the woman stops responding…that spells trouble!!!

#7 – No Communication – It BLOWS MY MIND the couples that will talk ABOUT one another…but not TO one another. If a couple wants to see success in marriage then they MUST be willing to have serious, heart to heart conversations…even when it’s hard!!!

What shall we then say to these things?
If God be for us, who can be against us?
— Rom. 8:31

Is this a correct saying?
Well, it is in the Bible so it must be true…!
Of course God is for us …
Yet, the devil is still coming against us…!
Surely that is not right …
… nothing is supposed to come against us…!

Is it ?
… or are we understanding it wrong…?
Actually …
God does not say that we will not have opposition …
… but in fact says we should expect it …

In the world ye shall have tribulation:
but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
— John 16:33

When the Bible on the one hand says that we will have opposition …
… and on the other hand says that …
… if God is for us, who can be against us …?
What does that really mean …?
In answering that question, the Psalmist wrote …

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress:
my God; in him will I trust.
Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler …
He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust …
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand;
but it shall not come nigh thee.
— Psalm 91:2-7

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
— Psalm 23:4

Does it say that God is for us…?
Yes…!
Does it say that nothing will come against us…?
No…!

But what it does say is …
That whatever comes against us …
… cannot prevail against us, if God is on our side!

Therefore, what Romans 8:31 is telling us is …
… If God is for us …
… then nothing that comes against us …
… can successfully stand against us!
!!!

Of course the devil will still attack us …
… but if God is fighting for us, the devil has no chance!
So let God do the fighting … you do the trusting!

If you want to help your children do well in life, there are a few things you can do. A high proportion of high achievers had two things in common:

First, there were lots of books in their homes and a great emphasis on reading. Second, there was a family tradition of regularly eating dinner together.

Filling a house with books surrounds children with endless and varied opportunities and challenges to explore and learn. Books provide knowledge and the seeds of wisdom, and great stories teach about morality and character.

Eating dinner together assures that parents have an opportunity to participate in their kids’ day-to-day lives and help shape the way they think and react. Coordinating schedules so that the family eats together often requires a conscious effort to elevate family time above other things, and the effort itself instills in children a sense of belonging.

But we can do more than promote reading and family discussions to offset all the bad influences our kids are exposed to. Remember, everything we do to or in front of our children matters; what we allow, what we encourage, and what we do ourselves teaches our children how to live and conveys powerful messages about values.

So, be sensitive as to what you say and how you say it, what you read and what you watch on TV. Be especially careful in the way you handle relationships and deal with emotions like disappointment, anger, and frustration because what you do is what you’ll get.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Although I get special pleasure out of hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my large extended family, the real burden of serving 50 or more people falls on the lovely shoulders of my wife Anne.

My big job is making 30 pounds of my special onion-laced mashed potatoes, always using my mom’s old, pink-handled potato masher. But it’s Anne who deals with tenting the yard and organizing the feast, including three turkeys and a symphony of side dishes. So you can understand if her enthusiasm for the holiday is more muted.

There was a time when I thought she was going to resign. It was a week after she planned and hosted a business reception at our home for nearly 100 people, and she was weary. She told me how she had come to dread the pressure and work of Thanksgiving.

Then, just as I was bracing myself to hear her renounce the job, she completely surprised me by changing direction. “This year,” she said, “I have a whole new feeling toward the holiday. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and decided to be grateful rather than resentful.”

Then she told me how lucky we are to have such a large and close family and the space and resources to provide Thanksgivings that our children will always remember.

Can you see why I love her so much? She taught me that gratitude is not always a spontaneous emotion; often, it’s a matter of choice. It’s a perspective of appreciation that doesn’t necessarily make life easier but always makes it better.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Accuse not a servant unto his master, lest he curse thee, and thou be found guilty.

Accusations must be just and merciful, especially against the afflicted or oppressed, who cannot easily defend themselves. Unnecessary harshness could cause them to curse you, which will then bring God’s hard judgment on you. Jehovah’s religion under both testaments includes much compassion and mercy for the lowly, weak, or oppressed.

The Bible throughout allows for servitude or slavery, though it protects servants or slaves by commanding just and kind treatment by masters. While legal servitude disturbs some, the confusion is usually due to a combination of one’s cultural upbringing, ignorance of servitude in other societies, and ignorance of the possible mutual economic benefits.

The God of the Bible, Jehovah by name, protects the lowly, weak, and oppressed, and He commands that all others do the same. He protects orphans and widows (Ps 68:5; 82:1-4). He protects animals (12:10; Deut 22:6; 25:4). He demands that men speak up when they are able to help those who cannot defend themselves (24:11-12; 31:8-9).

Servants or slaves were a low class of men, easily afflicted or oppressed by masters, and with little protection by ordinary means of justice or redress. They depended on fairness and kindness from their masters, so God protected them by a variety of duties required of their masters (Lev 25:39-46; Deut 15:12-15; 23:15-16; 24:14-15; Col 4:1; etc.).

This proverb protects servants or slaves from those other than their masters or owners. False or harsh accusations from others in the household or those outside it could provoke their masters and lead to deprivation or punishment. The proverb condemns accusations that were slanderous (a false accusation), trivial (unnecessary), or harsh (unmerciful).

A servant or slave’s lowly status did not stop accusations of wrongdoing that were given honestly, for a major offence, and without prejudice or revenge. Respect of persons in judgment, either low or high, is wrong (Ex 23:3; Lev 19:15). The lowly do not deserve sympathy when guilty of crimes (6:30-31; Gen 21:25-26; Lev 19:17; I Sam 26:19).

How important is this matter? Almighty God defends and judges those with no power to protect themselves, so beware (22:22-23; 28:27; Deut 10:18; 15:9; Ps 10:14,18; 146:9). Deal carefully, judge lightly, and choose to err on the side of liberality and mercy, and God will bless you (19:17; 21:13; 22:16; Is 58:6-11). Do justly and love mercy (Mic 6:8).

Consider an example. Jacob moved his family to Egypt, where through a succession of kings they became servants of the Egyptians. The accusation was made that unless they were oppressed, they would become too numerous for the Egyptians (Ex 1:8-14). Israel cried unto the Lord, and He heard them (Ex 2:23-25). Think ten plagues, dead firstborn, a drowned army, and a plundered and ravaged nation! Be careful about accusing a servant!

Consider another example. The scribes and Pharisees, religious elite of the Jews, accused the lowly apostles to their Master Jesus (Matt 15:1-2). It had been better for them not to have left their homes that day! Jesus promptly and publicly took them to task for their hypocrisy and vain religion, shaming them before the multitude (Matt 15:3-11). When informed that the Pharisees were offended, He condemned them further (Matt 15:12-14)!

Consider another example. Judas Iscariot was a thief (John 12:6), and he conspired with the Jews against the Servant Jesus for the price of a servant (Matt 26:15; Ex 21:32). Jesus cursed Judas (Ps 109:6-20; Matt 18:7; 26:24), and he ended up without the money, swallowed up with guilt and grief, and a disemboweled suicide in a worthless field (Matt 27:3-10; Acts 1:16-20). Be careful about accusing a servant, especially the Son of God!

Consider another example. The Jews hated Jesus, and they despised and rejected Him, hid their faces from Him, and accused Him of horrible crimes before God (Is 53:3-4; Matt 9:34; 12:24; 26:65; John 8:48). But Almighty God leveled the city of Jerusalem to the ground because they so treated their holy Servant and Visitor (Luke 19:43-44). Be careful about accusing a servant, especially the Son of God! Kiss Him instead (Ps 2:12)!

To be sure of godliness, speak evil of no man (Tit 3:2). Worry more about the beam in your own eye than the mote in another’s (Matt 7:3-5). Love mercy over judgment (Jas 2:13). Remember the ten thousand talents you were forgiven when considering the hundred pence owed you (Matt 18:21-35). Let love cover what it can (10:12; 17:9).

Do you understand Christian liberty? God has left many incidental matters of life to each believer’s choice or preference. You have no right to criticize or accuse about these choices. Paul wrote, “Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand” (Rom 14:4). Does Solomon’s proverb extend beyond what you first thought? Amen!

Let every man or woman in a position of authority practice fairness and gentleness to fully keep the righteousness of God indicated by this proverb. Let no civil ruler oppress any under him (Eccl 5:8). Let every employer dear fairly (Col 4:1). Let every father avoid discouraging his children (Col 3:21). Let every husband honor his wife (I Pet 3:7). Let every pastor despise respect of persons (I Tim 5:21).

Christian reader, you are a servant of the Lord Jesus Christ. If you live godly in Christ Jesus, you will be persecuted (II Tim 3:12), and some will think they are pleasing God (Is 66:5). Hear your Master, “No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD” (Is 54:17).

What a strange question …
… I thought it was the other way around …
… that we should be loving others …
rather than just thinking about ourselves?
!!!
Yes … of course we should!
… Yet …
… in talking about loving others …
… Jesus linked loving others with loving ourselves …
… saying to us …

… Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
— Matt 22:39

If Jesus said it, then we had better take note of it …
… and maybe start by asking ourselves …
“Do I love myself…?”
???
A simple question … but difficult to answer …
!!!
Why did He not just tell us to love others?
Why does Jesus expect us to love ourselves?
Did He really mean it…?
Absolutely! … Jesus not only meant it …
But … He also expects us to do just that …
… for a most important reason!
!!!
Consider this …
When God created you and me … He created us special!
(Gen. 1:26-28 , Ps. 8:4-6)
So special … that when man failed …
God did not give up … He gave us Jesus!
(John 3:16)
We are not just special to God …
He also wants us to see ourselves as special …
Because …
… unless we see ourselves as being special …
… we won’t see ourselves as special enough to receive all God has for us!
And we won’t be open to receive all His love and all His blessings!

For no man ever yet hated his own flesh;
but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
— Eph 5:29

Consider this …
If you are in lack … what do you have to give?
If you are unfulfilled … what do you have to share?
Therefore Jesus says to us …

Love yourself so much …
… that you want all that God has for you!
Love yourself so much …
… that nothing will stop you from receiving all God’s blessings!
Then … in the fullness of His love …
You will start seeing your neighbor as special …
… and start desiring for them to have all that you have!
… the fullness of God … in your life!

Is There a “Reformed” Movement in American Churches?

And out of the ground the LORD God made every tree
grow that is pleasant to the sight and good for food.
The tree of life was also in the midst of the garden, and
the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
— Gen. 2:9

After completing creation, and having placed man in the Garden of Eden,
… God singles out two trees from amongst all that He put in the garden.
Why those two trees?

As we have seen in creation, God had made everything for man’s benefit,
… to sustain man, so man can be fruitful,
… to support man, so man can develop and increase!
So man can put into creation, what God put in him!
However we have also learnt that there was a negative element on earth,
… that was against all that God is and stands for,
… that wanted to hinder man from living God’s will on earth!

Those two trees are therefore not about man’s physical being,
… but about man’s spirit & man’s soul, the image and likeness of God in man!

Therefore when God said to man …

Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat;
but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat,
for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.
— Gen. 2:16-17

God was referring to man responding to His image and likeness in man!
… about man being all that God had created man to be,
… about man’s future,
God was specifically talking about man’s life with Him,

I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you,
that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing;
therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;
— Deut 30:19

The tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil!
Although God does not tell us much about these two trees.
… what the tree of life is about is obvious … it is about LIFE
… man’s connection to the source of life, God Himself!

Man’s separation from the tree of life, (Genesis ch. 3) is not strange,
… as man was no longer connected to God, the source of life!

However about the other tree and man’s involvement with that tree,
… God is more specific, saying to man,

Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat;
but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat,
for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.
— Gen. 2:16-17

Why was this tree there?
What is this knowledge of good and evil that would cause death?
Was this a temptation or trap set for man,
… a stumbling block?
No, not at all!
God did not, neither does He tempt or try to trick any one …

Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”;
for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone.
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away
by his own desires and enticed.
— James 1:13-14

A Relationship …!
The principle behind or reality of the tree and the knowledge of good and evil,
… is not primarily about having knowledge, or about good and evil,
but it is about relationship!
Primarily it’s about an intimacy, a knowing, a relationship!

Now you may well ask,
… what does that mean?

Eve, in answering the serpent with reference to this tree, said this,

“We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden;
but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden,
God has said,
‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’”
— Gen. 3:2-3.

God said, do not partake of what this tree represents,
… do NOT even touch it, do not get to know it
… because its negativity will envelope you!

God, speaking to man, standing in front of that TREE!
… was saying to man,
Do NOT get to know evil, do not even touch it!
Get to know Me, that is where life is!

Jesus, in the parable of the 10 virgins, highlighted the same principle,
… saying to those who were not prepared when He arrived,

“Afterward the other virgins came also, saying,
‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’
But he answered and said,
‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’
— Matt 25:11-12

It is not about knowing of someone or something,
… nor about knowing of good and evil,

But it is about being directly or personally involved with,
… opening yourself up to and being influenced by,
that person (God) or that something (evil)!

In the book of Revelation, Jesus made this well known statement …

Behold, I stand at the door and knock.
If anyone hears My voice and opens the door,
I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.
— Rev. 3:20

Jesus was referring to the principle of the knowledge of good & evil,
… telling us of the vital importance of personally knowing Him!

For only as we open ourselves up to Him and His presence in our lives,
… will He be able to come into our lives and get to know us,
… will we be able to dwell in Him and get to know Him,
so having the knowledge of Him and not of good and evil!

The tree of Life!
What is this tree of life really all about?
Why did God stop man from eating from the tree of life,
… after man had eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil?

Then the LORD God said,
“Behold, the man has become like one of Us,
to know good and evil. (to have experienced)
And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life,
and eat, and live forever”
— Gen. 3:22.

Where does this tree come from?
What does this the tree of life represent?

We know, or can figure out that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
… had its origin in Satan or Lucifer, who in turning against God (good)
… unleashed something that man was supposed to deal with (evil)
And as God had said to Adam in the garden,
… deal with it, don’t get involved with it!

The tree of life on the other hand has its origin in God,
… so when God made man …

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground,
and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life;
and man became a living being.
— Gen. 2:7

God breathed His life into man,
… His life that represents all that is good!
A life that man was to live by and from …

“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it;
— Gen. 1:28

The choice to live that life in its fullness, was God’s offer & man’s choice!

I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you,
that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing;
therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live;
— Deut 30:19

In fact the two trees have never disappeared …
And after man took the wrong choice, got involved with evil,
Jesus in coming to restore life to man, said this …

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
I have come that they may have life,
and that they may have it more abundantly.
— John 10:10

The tree of life continues to represent God’s life …

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.
In Him was life, and the life was the light of men.
— John 1:1-4

… and the life was the light of men!
Seeing that the tree of life represents life,
… why did God not want man to eat of it?

Then the LORD God said,
“Behold, the man has become like one of Us,
to know good and evil. (to have experienced)
And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life,
and eat, and live forever”
— Gen. 3:22.

Through sin man had turned from God and therefore from God’s life,
… and as the Bible tells us, that life is also the light of man!
So man had stepped out of light, into darkness,
… and as we know light and darkness cannot ‘live’ together!

Therefore God had to do what He did when Lucifer turned against Him,
… God had to separate the darkness from the light!
God had to separate man from the source of light, His life!

However, in the case of man,
… God wanted to protect man from being doomed,
… from being forever confined to the darkness in which man was!

Why?

Man having stepped out of God’s life, ‘eternal’ life,
… was now living in darkness,
so God had to stop man, in his state of darkness,
… from partaking of eternal life,
… and thus being doomed to that state of darkness, forever!

The reality is that darkness cannot change light,
… only light can dispel darkness!

Let me give you an example.

If you are sitting in a dark room,
… you can switch on the light, and darkness disappears!
However, if you are sitting in a room full of light,
… there is no way of switching on darkness,
The light in which you are has to be turned off … a decision!

Thus, if God had allowed man to eat of the tree of life (eternal),
… man would have been stuck in darkness forever, with no way out!

Yet, God had already prepared a way out … Jesus,
… but that required man to make a counter decision,
… to turn from darkness and accept Jesus, as Lord of his life!
In other words, to choose to switch on the light of life!

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying,
“I am the light of the world.
He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness,
but have the light of life.”
— John 8:12

Life is real … not just a tree!
Life is doing and expressing what is in you!
Life is a choice … of being in the light!

Life is partaking of the tree of life,
The only condition is stepping into the light
Jesus!

Scornful men bring a city into a snare: but wise men turn away wrath.

Scorners are dangerous to themselves; and they are dangerous to those near them. By arrogant conceit and willful rebellion, they provoke the wrath of both God and men. But wise men, by humility and discretion, pacify the anger of God and men to maintain or restore peace and tranquility. Wise men will carefully avoid and reject scorners (22:10); they will instead be peacemakers with both God and men (Ezek 22:30; James 3:17-18).

Scorners are arrogant fools. A fool is a man without wisdom or the desire for it. He is ignorant, lazy, and stubborn. He is a stupid loser. A fool is bad enough, but a scorner is worse (26:12; 29:20)! A scorner is a conceited fool. He is so puffed up in pride he despises teachers; he is so profanely belligerent he welcomes fights. He is filled with resentment against any correction or opposition (9:7-8; 21:24).

Men by nature are hateful, malicious, and selfish (Titus 3:3). A small offence can start a battle. If no wise man is present to turn away wrath with soft words, then fighting will likely follow (15:1). But if a scorner is present, his arrogant and offensive manners and words will escalate the smallest differences into unnecessary and violent conflict (15:1).

When Gideon and his three hundred men were pursuing the Midianites, he called on the cities of Succoth and Penuel for food for his famished troops. They scornfully mocked him as being too small to defeat Midian. So when he was done securing the total victory, he returned and severely punished the scorners of those two cities (Judges 8:4-18).

The men of Jabesh offered to be servants to Nahash, king of the Ammonites. But he scornfully demanded to put out the right eyes of their men. What an inflammatory request! These are called fighting words! The previously submissive men of Jabesh raised an army from Israel and thoroughly defeated Nahash and his people (I Sam 11:1-11).

One lesson from this proverb was not enough for Ammon! Later, their King Hanun scornfully treated ambassadors from David, so he sent Joab and Abishai with his mighty men to destroy them. Though David and Hanun’s father had enjoyed a good relationship, Hanun’s scornful spirit cost him a crushing military defeat (II Sam 10:1-14; 12:26-31).

However, a wise man or woman can save a city from wrath. The scorner Sheba, who rejected David’s restoration to the throne after Absalom’s revolt, was holed up in the city of Abel. Joab explained the reason for his great army surrounding the city, and a wise woman cut the scorner’s head off and sent Joab away peacefully (II Sam 20:1-22).

Consider how the townclerk of Ephesus subdued a riot in his city by discreet and prudent words (Acts 19:23-41). Though Demetrius had inflamed an angry mob with his violent rhetoric, a wise man was able to save the city from either self-destruction or the Romans.

The examples so far deal with the wrath of men against a city, but scorners also bring the wrath of God. Scornful kings like Manasseh brought great wrath on Israel (II Kgs 21:9-15; 23:26-27; II Chr 36:16-17; Is 28:14-22; Jer 36:23-32). But humility and submission by wise kings brought His mercy and deferred His anger (II Kgs 22:11-20; Jonah 3:5-10).

The Scriptures are filled with examples of wise men that discreetly and prudently turned away God’s wrath from His people. Consider Moses, Aaron, Phinehas, Elijah, Amos, Job, Daniel, Samuel, and Noah among others. Rather than scornfully responding to judgment from God, they humbly besought His mercy and delivered those with them.

The warning applies to families and churches, as well as to cities. A scorner in a family or church brings it under the wrath of God or men by arrogant rebellion. It is the duties of parents and pastors to expose, punish, and reject scorners (19:25,29; 21:11; 24:9). When a scorner is identified and cast out, contention, strife, and reproach will end (22:10)!

Since scorners first show themselves at home, parents must severely punish words, attitudes, or expressions that reveal poison in the heart (Ex 21:15,17; Deut 27:16; 30:17). The flippant, irreverent attitudes allowed today in most homes cannot be tolerated. The haughty and profane disregard for authority or correction must be totally eliminated.

It is by kissing the Son – the Lord Jesus Christ – that wrath is diverted (Ps 2:12)! But the wicked Jews scornfully defied Him, which led to the utter destruction of their nation (Matt 21:33-46; 22:1-7; 23:34-39; I Thess 2:14-16). They derided and mocked Him, which brought on their city the greatest tribulation ever (Luke 19:41-44; 21:20-22).

What about you, reader? Are you a scorner or a wise man? Do you humble yourself before God or do you provoke Him? Will you scorn the warning of Paul, “If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ, let him be Anathema Maranatha” (I Cor 16:22)! Do you live peacefully with all men as much as you are able, or do you have bitter envying and strife in your heart and life (Rom 12:18; Jas 3:14-16)? Your sin will find you out!

I’m currently in the middle of a series called One Generation Away that is focusing on the potential of this present generation.

Some people think that this generation is hopeless. And while sometimes all the signs seem to point that way, I have to disagree. I don’t think we’ve ever seen a generation that has more possibility or promise. This generation might be in danger of losing the truth and biblical values. But they’re also the generation that could change the world.

And for that reason, it would be tragic for us to fail them by not understanding what they most need from us. The list below isn’t exhaustive. But it is essential. If you’re trying to reach this generation without embodying these traits, your impact is going to be marginal at best.

1. Authenticity

This generation can spot a fake a mile away. And they won’t follow one. If you’ve been trying to reach them by pretending to be someone you’re not, stop it. Be yourself. God made you that way. He’s going to use you that way.

They don’t need the person you’re pretending to be. If they did, God would have led the authentic version of that person to them. What they need is the best version of you they’ve ever seen.

You can give them that.

2. Authority

If this generation is lost, it won’t be because they lacked friends. It will be because they lacked leadership.

We safely assume that this generation has more potential than any other in history to change the world. We dangerously assume that they know how to unlock it. Or how to channel it for optimal impact. Or how not to get distracted by low-level pursuits.

That’s where you come in. God hasn’t called you to be their buddy. And they don’t need you to be it either. They already had tons of those when you came around.

He’s put you in their life to be their leader. Their mentor. Their guide.

People believe that this generation is antiauthoritarian. They’re wrong. They’re just looking for someone in authority to lead them in a direction worth following. And to be a person worth following.

Be that person.

3. Audacity

If you’re not challenging this generation to do more than what’s humanly possible, you’re wasting their time. They believe in miracles. They believe they can do the impossible.

And you know what, they’re right. With God, they can.

More than any other organization or movement on this planet, the church should be a safe haven and incubator for audacity. Everyone else talks big, but in reality they have limited resources. For us, there is no limit to what we can see God do through us other than our faith to believe Him for it.

Believe God to do big things through this generation. Challenge them to believe God for big things.

And don’t be surprised when it happens.